There are days when I feel like I don't have enough friends. Real friends who will go to lunch with me or shop with me or just listen to my crazy thoughts. In this new world in which we live, we can open our computer and log into worlds filled with exciting people who blog and put the most beautiful picture stories together but they aren't our real live friends. They have the most beautiful, colorful world where everything they touch has the right gleam to it but in reality they are just myth and we are only their fans. Everything purposed on their blogs are just for show. It's a pretty one because who really wants to look at ugly things.
Like the people you can also open up to on your computer and come in contact with who are down right ugly. Check the Yahoo! comment sections or any other mainstream media outlet and you will find some real crazies out there.
So how do we meet new friends?
Meeting real live humans is a bit trickier. Do you really go up to someone while shopping in Target and say, "Hey, I think you dress pretty cool..Want to hang out?" Or while you slurp your Thai Noodle Special from Noodles and Company you spy a girl sitting alone with a copy of The Position by Meg Wolitzer and think, "I've read that. I'm going to ask her what her thoughts are on it."
Normally we miss chances to meet people who could be our new friend because in general, people are creatures of habit and too shy to say, Let's Be Friends.
Well, Here We Go. Get Your Pencil.
Step 1: Close the computer. Leave your desk, couch, chair or bed. It's time to get out.
Step 2: It's Time to Join. If you are a reader, join a book club. If you like to drink, take a wine tasting class. If you like to play volleyball, find a team. Whatever your pleasure, it's time to put yourself out there and meet people you share at least one interest with. You can meet people by going to Meetup also. Very cool website just make sure you follow through and not just imagine yourself going.
Step 3: Kindle a WOMANCE. Men have bromances why not have a womance? Take a chance. Ask one or more of your new acquaintances for tea or coffee or why not wine? More likely than not, your invitation is going to be received and your risk will bring in rewards.
Step 4: Be a Keeper: You want to keep your new friend so be a good friend. Listen, celebrate, support and seek out fun.
Other Helpful Tips
Diversify: You can have a party pal, a work bud, a gym mate, your hometown friend and more. You don't have to just have one friend that you put unfair expectations on. You will only be led to disappointment and someone might think you a bit weird and clingy.
Quality over Quantity: Yes, I understand your jealousy over the girl who gets 200 likes on her facebook post when she only says, "Heading to the Gym. So #blessed." I cringe at this. It's not the number of contacts but the number of friends who will answer your call when you need them. Try and remember when you see her.
Be Patient: It can take years to establish intimacy. Instead of worrying over what you don't get from friends think about what you do.
Happy Friday. Get a friends and grab some Wine. Cheers!